i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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