he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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