Cold hands, warm shart.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
