i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It's blow job season.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
