just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
