you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
