Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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