Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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