It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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