evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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