They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
