so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
