I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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