so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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