the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
