It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
