$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
