I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
