We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
