My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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