it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
