I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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