and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
