direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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