Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
