just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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