Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
time to smoke my breakfast
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
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