it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Dignity is for republicans.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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