Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
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