So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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