I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
