hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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