Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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