can we get nightvision for the apartment?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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