Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
