it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
a search helicopter?!
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
