I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
