dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
