Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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