I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
