The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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