I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
