Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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