i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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