I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
