ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
