let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
