Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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