Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
