I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
