I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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