i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
